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| In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob. - So thats the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to the car because its too heavy. |
| I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of. |
| What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!! |
| Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener! |
| Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?A:About 45 pounds!!Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?A:About 45 minutes !! |
| How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?When she has a tampon behind her ear and cant find her pencil |
| I wish Martians would conquer the earth and make us their pets, I could really use a new flea leash. The one my wife uses is getting pretty darn short. |
| I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence. It didnt sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence. Its doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: Re-read this line. Now, if I could just find the time to write it. |
| I have to admit it, Jensen had offered a brilliant proposal to resolve our troublesome problem. He suggested we form three committees, one to study the problem directly, one to study how other companies had resolved similar problems, and a third to oversee the first two and coordinate their efforts into a workable solution. The plan worked flawlessly and we assigned the janitor to change the lightbulb |
| Frank Sinatra, Old Blue Eyes, has died... Frank will now be known as Old Closed Eyes. |
